As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
