i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She's the barista slut.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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