Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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