I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
