I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
