gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
