Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think i got beer on your cat.
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