She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
