my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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