I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
