In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
