Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
