Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i will never coherently bang her
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize