There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
