yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
