I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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