Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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