I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
