I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
