Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
