Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
