Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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