The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
