hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
