Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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