Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
