On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
it's not cheating when I paid for it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
