I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
