the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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