So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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