WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
