I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
there is puke in my bra ... again
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
