Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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