Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
