You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
3pm strippers are depressing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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