I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
