ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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