I wish i was in the wii world.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
