i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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