I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize