I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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