You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
