theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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