i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
