he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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