so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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