I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
