it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize