We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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