The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
