I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
