I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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