Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
