Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
