If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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